An Expert’s Take on Tonight’s Football

It’s finally here! Today is the day when the whole world’s population (except America, Asia, Africa, and some other places) sit on the edge of millions of seats, hoping and dreaming of the day their special football club can become THE ULTIMATE WINNER OF FOOTBALL. The game is being organised by UEFA, who are like FIFA except in Europe, and it’s been held in Rome, which is like Paris except in Italy.

Today’s match between Manchester United and a Spanish team is very important because it decides who gets to be the next champion of The Official League of Football. It will be a tense match because both teams are probably quite good and have good players. Both teams have famous guys in, like Cantona, except he’s not playing because he’s an actor now and he kicked a guy. I don’t know any of the Spanish ones but they’re probably famous too. Ronaldo? Is he Spanish? If he is he’s probably playing, so keep an eye out for him.

If you want this expert’s opinion, I’d say my money is on the Spanish guys. They’re playing somewhere hot so they have the advantage because Manchester United’s guys will be all tired-out and stuff because they’re only used to playing in England and they don’t go on many holidays because of all the footballing they have to do. In addition, when they say ‘offside’ and stuff (that’s when the ball goes off the side of the pitch) they might not understand because it will be in Italian. Also didn’t the Spanish guys already win once maybe? Or maybe that’s United.

Anyway, it’s guaranteed to be a thrilling match for those who understand football. But not me.