An Expert’s Football Opinions #3

After noticing that this blog is ranking strangely well for the search term ‘football experts opinions’ (despite having no inbound links), I’ve decided to see whether it’s possible to boost myself a bit higher through the results for that particular term, with the eventual goal of beating giant Rupert Murdoch-funded enterprises to the #1 position.

After all, it’d be pretty brilliant if people looking for a well-versed opinion of soccer landed on a blog which not only fails to provide anything whatsoever about The Wonderful Game, but is actively aware that it doesn’t. It’s also a nice little SEO experiment.

So.. What are my non-expert opinions of football? Well, for one, I’m not a huge fan of most aspects of it. I like being outside, and I like drinking, but beyond that I’m not sure I’d fit in too well watching a game. I wouldn’t know when to shout, or what to shout. I wouldn’t know when to stand up and go ‘ahhhhh’ if the guy misses the ball or whatever, because I’d never see it coming.

I have been to exactly one football match in my life. It was Bury subs vs Manchester United subs, and I got the tickets free from primary school for some reason. I went with my Dad, my brother, and my Dad’s friend, with none of us being football experts, nor even fans. All I remember is that I was really, really far away from the pitch, and that I didn’t know what was going on. We eventually started shouting “Come on Kenny’s chair!” across the stadium, presumably because we didn’t know what else to do, and after a while some other guys on the other side shouted it back.

Perhaps football is all about shouting at the guys opposite? I don’t know. For an expert, I sure am uninformed.